what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
they're like a gay fantastic four
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
