I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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