Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize