I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
