no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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