You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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