oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
