Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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