There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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