so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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