There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
