He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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