I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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