You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Randomize
