Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
