my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
