we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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