I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
