Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize