Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Well I just put wine in my tea
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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