All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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