is wine microwaveable?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize