he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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