some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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