your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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