And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize