If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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