he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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