So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I need water and some morals
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
