Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
