Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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