Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2