Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.

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  (407): I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care. http://tfl.nu/n9k1
  Replies (14) Good night (4779) Bad night (671)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.

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  (217): The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool. http://tfl.nu/4pl2
  Replies (44) Good night (5243) Bad night (1289)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.

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  (253): Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser. http://tfl.nu/y4fk
  Replies (16) Good night (5736) Bad night (1405)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.

  (928): View more from Arizona

  wow.

  (815): View more from Illinois

  But it's a REALLY good back rub.

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  (815): The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub. (928): wow. (815): But it's a REALLY good back rub. http://tfl.nu/3vfg
  Replies (27) Good night (5103) Bad night (926)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"

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  (856): we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon" http://tfl.nu/pn3g
  Replies (4) Good night (4102) Bad night (826)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.

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  (303): we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks. http://tfl.nu/6rdh
  Replies (6) Good night (3429) Bad night (969)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  ...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT

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  (615): ...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT http://tfl.nu/kbbi
  Replies (4) Good night (955) Bad night (1917)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.

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  (469): I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part. http://tfl.nu/bfoq
  Replies (8) Good night (766) Bad night (2740)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I cant shower it involves moving...

  (219): View more from Indiana

  Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.

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  (317): I cant shower it involves moving... (219): Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame. http://tfl.nu/d6ka
  Replies (8) Good night (2395) Bad night (620)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.

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  (916): No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street. http://tfl.nu/lc9z
  Replies (6) Good night (1440) Bad night (487)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.

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  (816): He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken. http://tfl.nu/2q6x
  Replies (1) Good night (661) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...

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  (480): Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch... http://tfl.nu/farg
  Replies (4) Good night (325) Bad night (754)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete

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  (970): This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete http://tfl.nu/utyk
  Replies (4) Good night (244) Bad night (561)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player

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  (417): I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player http://tfl.nu/158m
  Replies (3) Good night (475) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush

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  (518): I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush http://tfl.nu/jhnr
  Replies (0) Good night (255) Bad night (369)

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