if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink