So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.