he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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