I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
