Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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