I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
