at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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