"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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