I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
