why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
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