DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
