i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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