dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
