So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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