K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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