Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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