I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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