All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
