I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Can I color on your dick again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize