I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
