This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
