It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
