she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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