I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
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I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
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Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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