The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
