You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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