Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
