Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
