CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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