they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
