just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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