Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
