Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
