Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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