Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
