I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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