If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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