in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
