I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
