i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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